May 2024

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“When the grief train pulled into my station I got on and found a comfortable seat to snuggle into. I watched the world go by and was quite content in my unhappiness. Then I saw that other people were getting off the grief train. Some of them I never saw again, and I didn’t know where they went. Others would get off and get back on again. We talked about the adventures they had. I began to realize that maybe my comfortable seat wasn’t so comfortable anymore. I could participate in some adventures instead of being an observer. I took my baggage with me and got off at the very next station. Now, I had a story to tell when I got back on the train. I was surprised when someone told me I could leave my baggage on the train when I got off. I was rather attached to my baggage. However, I tried it. I had a receipt to reclaim it though. This time when I got off the train, I stayed off longer. I had more adventures. When I got back on the train there was all my baggage waiting for me. I didn’t need much of it now. I decided to give some of mine to those who loved to carry a lot of baggage.
And, so it went.
 

“I still like to journey on the grief train. Sometimes when I look out of the window, I see wonderful memories of events that happened in the past. Sometimes when I curl up in my seat, I spend time with people who have died. I kept parts of my baggage I’m not ready to let go of yet. I open it up and unpack it a little. It is lighter now. I discovered that the people I am lonely for don’t have to stay on the grief train. They come with me wherever I go. I like having them with me. I had turned the grief train into a prison. It isn’t. It’s a way to journey to new places, especially when I am willing to go through the open doors to see what is waiting for me.
 

“I would rather not have been a passenger at all. However, now that I am, I am beginning to see that I am not a helpless passenger. I am the person who plans the journey and makes the adventures happen. I have been given tickets to an unlimited number of places. It’s up to me how many of them I use. How will I figure it out? Partly by talking to other people – those who are on this journey and those who are on other journeys… . Partly by listening to my own heart. Sometimes by looking at myself and the world through the eyes of those who love me instead of my own eyes — ‘perspectacles.’
 

“There are many maps, and I have time and freedom to find the right one for me. Sometimes staying on track. Sometimes getting off and wandering. Sometimes getting off with a definite plan. 

"All these choices are mine because I am among the living still. When you are ready to get off your own grief train, I wish you many adventures and that you find that you need less and less baggage as your journey continues.”
 

- Author unknown.

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Hugs!

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Ruth Turner, Outreach Chairman and Certified Grief Support Facilitator